He doesn't love me...

Just as I suspected. He didn't say it back. I finally worked up the nerve one night in bed. I was so scared I was shaking. I started out saying something and he was like "what is it, just spit it out" and I was like "I just wanted to say...I love you," and I dove against him and hugged him. All he was like is "oh honey, honey I can feel you shaking." And I was like yeah "I didn't want to tell you because I thought you wouldn't say it back or you don't feel the same way." He was all "I didn't say that I don't" and I was like "Its not like that either you do or you don't" and he told me like 2x that "It was complicated" with our past and everything. He said we'd talk about it tomorrow. I got up and went to the bathroom a few minutes later and bawled. He was asleep. We haven't talked about it. I dont even know how to approach it again. It really sucks to be in unrequited love.

Moving into a loveless household?

So, I just heard back from the lady that we were approved to move into the condo we applied for. We just have to wait until the other person moves out...but we will be moved in at the latest, early March. So here I am, about to move in with AJ. The man that I love. The man that I have not told that I love him. Why oh why is it so hard? Well, I know for one thing that I am afraid he won't say it back. I would just feel so weird. I want to say it to him all the time though still, its so hard to keep it in. Lately the thought has been crossing my mind, why hasn't he told me, or made any sort of notion toward it like I do? Maybe, just maybe, he doesn't love me yet. Just very strongly like. I am not exactly sure how I feel about moving into a loveless household. I mean, when 2 people move in together, they are usually in love. This is all sort of strange to me. Sometimes I just want to look at him and shout "Why don't you love me?" "Why would you want to live with me if you don't love me?" I really, really wish I had the answer of what to do. But until then, I will continue, I am sure, to lay awake at night after he has fallen asleep and ponder all these things.